Communication If you always believe, what you have always believed, you will always think, what you always thought and you will always do, what you always did, and thus you will always get, what you always got Listening in the family if you want to improve your relations with your partner and children make sure you are NOT a 1. Mind reader you'll hear little or nothing if you already think you know what the other is thinking and feeling. 2. Rehearse your mental tryouts for " Here's what I'll say next" tune out the person. 3. Filterer some call this selective listening.... hearing only what you want to hear. 4. Dreamer drifting off during a face-to-face conversation can lead to an embarrassing " What did you say?" They will say that you never listen. 5. Identifier if you refer everything you hear to your experience, you probably didn't really hear what was said. Try not to one-up someone. Bite your tongue. 6. Derailer changing the subject too quickly tells others you are not interested in anything they have to say. One can feel discounted and rejected. 7. Sparrer you quickly belittle or discount what is said. This hurts. 8. Placater agreeing with everything you hear just to be nice or to avoid conflict does not mean you're a good listener. It can make you feel resentful. Others may feel discounted.